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And I never thought the words you’d cast would hurt so much.
For that, well I won’t look back.
And I never thought the one you trust would stab your back,
I guess it’s not so bad.

And I never thought I’d kill you off when you’re all I know.
For that, well I won’t look back.
And I never thought I’d lose it all, then I heard your plans,
I guess it’s not so bad.

"   My mother always said
Suicide is the most selfish act
A person can commit.
When Ned Vizzini killed himself
I wanted to resuscitate him
And shake him by the shoulders.
I wanted to scream
“Fuck you,
Fuck you for leaving us like this,”
In his face
and over
and over.
I gave his book to my friends
When they said they wanted to jump
Off buildings so high
They wouldn’t even feel
Hitting the pavement.
And I bet he didn’t
When he decided
To climb to the roof of that building
And launch himself off the top.
I used to prescribe his words
Like modern medicine.
But how can I continue to offer someone
The paperbacked best selling
Penned words
Of a hypocrite?
“Fuck you.
We needed you,”
Rattles around my brain
Like an animal in a cage.
And then I realize
I never sent him a note,
A thank you.
I always meant to.
Maybe it wouldn’t have changed his mind,
But I still should have made the time to send
My appreciation
To someone
Who deserved it.
I realized then
I can’t be angry at a man
I’ve never met
For his sadness getting the best of him.   "

Ned Vizzini by Colleen Michele (thatstoomainstream)


(via thatstoomainstream)